“Hey, where are you headed this summer?”
“I am taking a solo trip to *****(Replace with any hippie destination).”
“Wow, that’s so cool man!”
EXCEPT THAT IT ISN’T.
Growing up an introvert, I have never been too fond of human company, especially those uncalled for. Naturally, the idea of a solo trip for me was not accompanied by the fear of loneliness. Infact, if anything, that was what I was seeking: to understand the fine line between loneliness and solitude. I wanted to travel solo to spend more time with myself, and to better know myself. I also wanted to give the world a chance, and expand my horizon of knowledge and experiences. So, when I dragged my bag across a garbage dump, afraid of missing the bus to Pondicherry, narrating that incident in my Instagram stories did not cross my mind.
The social media frenzy have overhyped and selectively glorified the “female solo travelling” genre, and I am so proud of myself for not taking inspiration from the thoughtfully curated and misrepresented Instagram feeds to take this plunge. Posting at every step of my journey where I went or what I ate for breakfast and lunch instead of enjoying the moment wasn’t really the kind of solo adventure I was looking for. (By the way, it’s not too safe either.)
Hence, let me break the bubble for all the wannabes.
Before you brand me arrogant for my words, take a deep breath and question yourself :
Why do you travel solo?
Even if you haven’t done it and still find yourself reading this article, ask why you might want to travel solo.
If the first thought that pops up on your mind is to imitate that bookmarked image of the travel blogger, then listen to my humble advice and DON’T GO FOR IT. While I am an advocate for solo travel at every possible opportunity, I also believe this growing trend of traveling to show-off does more harm to the community than good. It is also equally misleading to the folks starting out with dreamy eyes, because it shows only the best, not the worst. On the other hand, exaggerating on how you tackled apparently simple problems (something as simple as hiking during your periods) doesn’t make you a probable recipient for the Ashoka Chakra (given for bravery). It’s a choice you made consciously, and it is on you to see through the consequences.
Traveling solo doesn’t make you courageous – it makes you self-reliant and teaches you to bear the brunt of your choices.
Traveling solo doesn’t make you smarter – it makes you more informative while taking decisions.
Traveling solo where you have booked every hotel, written up an itinerary to the T doesn’t make you an explorer – it makes you a hypocrite, who is defaming and undermining all those who seek more than just petty likes.
Don’t get me wrong. Solo travel does not necessarily mean that you have to be all by yourself, lost in thoughts of existential crisis. Meeting people on the road, hanging out with people of multiple ethnicity in hostels, living with locals in homestays – these constitute very much a part of the solo travel journey, as much as the times you spend to take a pause and appreciate and be grateful for these fleeting moments which leave everlasting impressions.
However, at the same time, solo travel is not a bed of roses either, and it’s surely not everybody’s cup of tea. Do you really need to enjoy the tea when you prefer coffee, though? Let me be upfront about some situations I have faced when traveling solo, and you might as well.
There are situations when you'll desperately wish you had someone by your side to help through the crisis.
Example, getting onto an overnight bus and having it breakdown in the middle of the road, with nobody in sight but miles and miles of paddy fields. It is scary. So is getting lost in the middle of the jungle while hiking, and finding nobody else to guide you or give you the much needed assurance during panic attacks.
There are moments when you wish you had a man by your side to fend off unwanted attention.
Unfortunately, a “No” from a woman is not enough, if she is by herself and is also dressed up moderately well. For some reason, the message received is “She’s looking for hook-ups.” In some cases, silence or walking away is the only option you have, even if that’s not what you want to. This is primarily from a female’s perspective, but I would love to know men’s reactions to these situations.
There are days when you might fall sick, and have nobody to look after you.
Your medicine box may not have sufficient medicines, the nearest pharmacy might be 4 hours away, the hospitals might have doctors visiting only once a week and you might not have enough money to catch a flight back home. Circumstances can change from bad to worse in no second, and having to manage all that crisis for yourself with a declining health is a headache you might not want to sign up for.
There are adversities you face when traveling to a new place, especially where you don't know the language and you have a bus to catch or feel like striking up a conversation.
Google Translate doesn’t do a good job all the time nor is it aware of the local dialects/lesser known tribal languages. A local friend, or a friend familiar with the language can be a great asset in situations such as these, and you may not be always lucky to find one on the road.
There are memories you can't capture for lack of another person clicking your photograph.
Let’s face it, self-timers don’t always work, setting up a tripod in the middle of the street is odd and singles you out, and you may be too shy to ask random strangers. Having a familiar face willing to take multiple shots as you pose right and left always helps. Yes, for the Gram too. (All I am saying is that, it shouldn’t be your primary motivation.)
There are times you'll feel lonely.
I spent my Christmas in a restaurant, fiddling with an undercooked pork chops while I saw families and groups of friends laughing and making merry as they raised their wine glasses and made a toast. I chose this, I convinced myself. But for a brief moment, I wished I had someone to share that occasion with.
Last but not the least, there will be days when you are bored and/or disappointed.
Not every place will be fancy and give you the high you were looking for. Disappointments are real and very much a part of travel, not just solo travel. Being alone, without internet connectivity sucks and you begin to realise how much we are reliant on technology these days. You might crave for that KFC or MacD, and have to deal with only rice and beans for days. You might miss out on going to the one place you badly wanted to go to, because of an ongoing strike and shell out more cash just to keep yourself safe. You might even come across people who are not warm and welcoming, and all your expectations from a place will fall flat on its face. It HAPPENS. And accepting these is part of the learning curve of solo travel.
Even though the article feels discouraging, I still want to say that deciding to travel solo was the best decision I have taken in life. I have had my share of bad experiences, but the personal growth and treasure-trove of memories I have had is worth all that pain.
Don’t travel solo because it’s in trend and cool. Travel solo to be more independent and at the same time, understand the importance of the close ones in your life. Travel solo because it will help you identify your strengths and weaknesses, and work on them. Travel solo because it’s an experience of its own, and however selfish it may sound, some things are best enjoyed alone, without sharing.
Once again very impressed with your thoughtful and great literary skills….. keep it up….👍
Thank you! Much appreciated!
Solo travel is in my wishlist….Your interesting way of discouragement actually encouraged me😋
Haha, please do it! I believe everyone should do it at least one, just to know if they like it or not. However, it is also important to be aware of the situations you might face because it is not all fun and games!
Solo traveling is good Idea but I think is not suitable for India as a woman.i feel hesitate to say you that are you internally lonely
I think India had great opportunity to explore, and keeping a few safety rules in mind, it is very much possible!
It’s funny that you feel so, because solo traveling will be the last thing any lonely person would do!
Thanks! I am pretty inexperienced myself, but if you have anything specific you’re looking for, I might be able to help.